Page 49 - joa-november-23

Paranoia and a Book

ust the other day a woman came in asking for the book titled The And sure enough, as I scrolled down the computer screen, I found
Door Keeper which she said was written by a Congressional door- it—Fishbait Memoirs of the Congressional Doorkeeper—and just as I
Jman. I looked and didn’t have it. The lady said, “Well,” that she had thought, she had been looking for the wrong title. The right title was
seen my sign as she drove past and that I had old books and this was an Fishbait which was the nickname for William Miller who was the door-
old book. Well, sorry, I didn’t have it and had never heard of it. keeper of the House of Representatives from 1949 to 1953 and 1955
to 1973 which was published in 1977. But she was correct that
What am I looking for? “Doorkeeper” was on the cover as it was in the book’s subtitle. She was
naturally surprised by that.
She said the book was in stores then suddenly all the copies were
pulled because it was banned and that she had been looking for it for But was it Really Missing?
some years and couldn’t find it. In fact, she said she had been reading
it in prison, and “they” took it away from her and she never got to read I started to think of non-paranoid and perfectly
the last three chapters. normal non-paranoid explanations for everything
Well, I was curious as to her story, she said – that she couldn’t find the book because
but since she couldn’t remember the she had the wrong title and jumped to the conclu-
author’s name, I looked up Door sion that she couldn’t find the book because there
Keeper online and found several books was a nationwide conspiracy against her because
with that title by different authors. “they” didn’t want her to finish the book. But
One was a science fiction trilogy and since the book had been on The New York Times
the second was religious inspiration, bestseller list for three months, it had hardly
but it was obvious that none of these been banned and pulled off the shelves by
was the book that she was looking for. unnamed Democrats who did not want her or
I asked her if she had the correct title anyone to read the book. And probably, despite
because I couldn’t find it. But no, she all her paranoia, everything had a perfectly good
said she clearly remembered it said explanation for why the book was taken away
“Door Keeper” on the cover. from her in prison – maybe it was overdue
Soon she was obsessing about this from the prison library which wanted it
book, pacing back and forth and back back. And it probably disappeared off
and forth faster and faster getting louder bookstore shelves when sales lagged after
and more agitated all the time about how months to be replaced by other, newer titles.
the book was banned and suddenly pulled All perfectly normal.
off the shelves and how “they” were keep- I didn’t tell her all of that of course, just
ing her from reading it. They apparently that she had the wrong title and that there
were the Democrats for some reason. were dozens and dozens of copies of the book
for sale online for prices as low as $3.86 for a
Digging for Clues paperback. She was surprised, but said that it
looked like the book and asked me to write
So, now I was curious and thinking that the correct title down for her which I did
there has to be something about this book and she drove away.
online, so, while I was trying to find out Obviously, the poor woman has
something about this book online, she is problems, and later, it worried me that
still pacing up and down going on about she was out there driving a car on a
having been in a hospital and this weekend very busy highway.
she was sleeping in her car in front of a store Anyway, she was one of the more
in a local beach resort and the police made memorable customers I’ve had over the years,
her move and she thought she had every right but no way was I going to ask her why she was in prison. I do hope
to be there because she was a taxpayer, etc., etc. she gets help. And, I do hope she gets to finish the book, which I
So, while this is going on, I thought I’d try a new approach as understand to be full of humorous and interesting anecdotes about all
there couldn’t be that many books written by or about Congressional the famous people “Fishbait” met over the years.
door keepers.

James Dawson has owned and operated the Unicorn Bookshop in Trappe, MD since 1975, when he decided that it would be more fun to buy and sell old books and
maps than to get a “real” job. For a born collector like Jim, having a shop just might be another excuse to buy more books. He has about 30,000 second hand and
rare books on the shelves, and just about all subjects are represented. He can be contacted at P.O. Box 154; Trappe, MD 21673; 410-476-3838;
unicornbookshopMD@gmail.com; www.unicornbookshop.com

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